Yes i am one of those jaded females. The one who complains that there are no nice guys out there, and who loudly declares that men suck. no one can tell me otherwise or try to change my mind. its too late for that one.
So here i am another late nite after a break-up (on facebook no less; can i add to the list that men are wimps too!) Another nite that i sit and contemplate becoming a nun, or maybe living life as a hermit. men just make it too easy for girls like me to become jaded and cynical.
I start out every relationship the same way; with trust and hope. Now don't get me wrong i never build my hope up too high (learned that lesson early on) I don't go in thinking wedding bells and what color i'll paint our first child's room. But with hope that this guy might actually be a nice guy that i could spend time with. Things go fine for the first while...sometimes a month, other times a week, and in one case since childhood. Sure guys start treating you right in the beginning. You know taking you out for dinner, little txt messages to see how your doing, a mixed cd (never flowers for me i guess i'm just not that kinda girl).
Then it starts...the downfall. After a few failed relationships i can see it coming. He stops trying to make you smile, or make you feel special. Those little things he promises to do never happen. He tells you he'll come over, but an hour before he gets a 'headache'. He'd rather ignore you then spend time with you. He calls the ex or she calls him (as in the last two cases). And then its over just as soon as it started. He tells you he has to talk (you think of baseball to keep your mind off what he is saying), he just ignores you until you force the conversation, or he sends you a message on facebook after he has removed your dating status.
This folks is why i'm jaded. I don't go out seeking those 'bad boys' who will break my heart...no actually the opposite most of the guys i have dated have been 'nice' 'Christian' guys that have morals and know really how to treat a girl. HAH yeah right!
So now i'm less then a month from turning 22 and i'm thinking of swearing of relationships with men until i'm 30, and why? because the men of this world have worked their 'magic' on me, and finally my spirit is broken. I no longer have the will to put myself out there. I no longer want to take a chance on a relationship. There is no more trust in me, and the hope i once had is gone. I'm staring at a broken wall in the mirror that needs to be fixed, but only by me. There is no man out there that i'm willing to let in to help.
I'm done.
